Saturday, November 3, 2012

looking up

Here, once again......Parklen and I find ourselves in the hospital....Yesterday sucked....for lack of a better word.......If it could go wrong, it did.  Parklen was miserable and it felt like the day lasted for an eternity.  A procedure showed that Parklen's lungs are worse than they had even thought. 

Today they started some "vest" treatments.  Parklen is strapped into a little vest, it fills with air and then it "wiggles" kind of hard, thus shaking loose all of the stuff stuck in his lungs.  The first treatment did not go over well.  He freaked out the entire time (add in some high dose steroids and it was HORRIBLE)  Cool news is, he has to do them four times a day....even when we go home.  They will be combining this with some other treatments. 

They still have some concerns with Parklen's blood tests, and have sent a bunch of them out to other hospitals....still waiting to hear on those.  His main doc says it the best....."he looks bad"  and he does....... 

Last night during a blood draw, Parklen's port stopped drawing.....they couldn't get any blood out.  Kind of a big deal.  So started the rush to fix it, they were preparing to try a number of different things....and after the day Parklen had had, I was dreading this little stressor, which was bound to send him into a roid raged fit.  The nurse left the room to grab some supplies.....Parklen and I prayed......the nurse came back moments later.  As she hooked up a flush to his port, she decided to try again for the blood....there it was, in its dark red goodness....just like that.  We were so excited and I said, "It worked because we prayed."  and she said, "that's exactly what I did when i left the room."  God is good. 

I am missing home, I hate being away from the other half of my family......I miss good food and my bed.  It turns out, being a pregnant mama in the hospital with your baby is super hard.  Who knew?  As I was sitting in the waiting room during Parklen's procedure yesterday I realized something.  In four years of countless procedures and surgeries....I have sat alone during them all except for two.  It is a place I have come to find comfort in while Im here.....being alone.  Time to reflect.....relax.  Not talking to anyone....not trying to explain things.  Just sitting.  Alone, with my thoughts.


So, even though Parklen's illness seems to be progressing, the treatments and future are uncertain, and things really aren't looking up.......I will continue to.  Look up towards heaven and trust God, even when its hard to do.........it is the only certain thing I know.  God never fails.