I stood.
"I stood up in the shower today." That sentence might seem like too much information, or weird...strange even.. I get that. But I said that sentence out loud to myself over 50 times on Friday. "I stood up." "I stood up." "I STOOD." You see, its been many many months since that seemingly small occurrence has happened.... January. Thats the last time. Over 11 months ago. Every time I have showered since then, I have done anything but stand. I have slipped into the water and fallen to my knees... or climbed in from the bathroom floor to the shower floor. I have laid down like a small child. I have sat there. Water pouring over my whole self and falling to the tub floor, mixing there with my tears. I have sat....silently crying...shaking. Other days unable to stop the sound... Crying loudly and praying that the dropping of the water around me would soften the noise. I have been so so low. I have prayed... I have tried to hold myself together al