Amanda and the Hendersons

Today was a special day. It was special for many reasons.... But, the biggest reason for declaring this day special was this boy..... Paysen turned 8 today. We celebrated all day today. We celebrated him yesterday with a little party..... He was allowed to choose only two friends.... the rule being that they knew  about our family and would not show up sick........ So his two closest friends and their families joined our family in the park..... There was cupcakes, candy, snacks.... There was a squirt gun battle.......which was Devan's idea.... "it will be fun for the kids"   That was what he said......Devan takes competition very seriously...even when his appoints are children...... They all ended up soaked and the kids deemed Devan a target and worked hard to bring. him. down.... We borrowed a bounce house.... Which was made more special by only having a few kids there..... I will not lie.... I loved the bounce house. I

Sometimes you have days that are hard..... Sometimes you can hide your fight behind a brave face.... Today was hard.... I hid my struggle for most of the day. But in the end....the mask fell to the floor. Sometimes the weight of being someones advocate gets to you.... Sometimes the tears are so heavy that they have no choice but to fall. The stress of the last two weeks is taking its tole..... School starting, Parklen breaking his leg (have I mentioned that he broke his leg?) Struggles.... Heavy things.... stress.... It is adding up. Today, I was explaining my day to day to a friend..... She was genuinely interested.... and as I mapped out what my day looks like I felt nauseous. I felt like every word was just a small reopening of the wound that once was.... Its hard to explain, but there are things that most people find very "normal" that are far beyond any possibility for us.... As the day ticked on, the reopening got bigger.... and the s