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Whats mine...

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 Writing is what I should've been doing every day for the last year and a half.  Writing is my escape... my joy.. my pleasure. But. It has been tainted. Turned around and become a fuel for my anxiety.  What if?  What if my words are misunderstood....what if people are offended by my thoughts, what if they think Im saying something I am not..... Again. What if.... There have been depths of pain the past few months that I have never known. And MY GOD ....thats saying something. and speaking of God..... I dont feel much like talking to Him lately.  I try  to. BUT  tears fill the spaces where the words should be. Nothing to say, but a billion WHY'S.... So tonight....I write for me.  I write....and I trust that these words are enough..LOUD enough for God to hear....and raw enough for them to count...as the prayer I cannot muster. So many stories of heartache and pain have been woven into the days, hours.... minutes....seconds of the passing months.  Stories....that most of which, ar