Amanda and the Hendersons

Today you are five.......I cannot believe it.    It was five years ago that you came into our lives, five years since my world was forever changed.   Paysen you are the funniest person I know, big or small.  You are my best little buddy and you melt my heart every single day.  You told me just yesterday that, and I quote....."all I wanna do when I get big is build a house right next door to you so that I can come over every day"  When I told you that your wife probably wouldn't approve, you simply stated..."well, I will just tell her that's the way it is." You tell me that I am the best mommy in the world, you tell me that I am so cute.  You say I'm the best at cooking, and that I am your best friend.  You know just what to say and just when to say it.....When I am feeling sick and laying down you take your precious little fingers and stroke them across my forehead and say "sleep my little princess."   You made me a mommy....you showed

My boys are in school, even my little baby…… Sending him to school was one of the hardest things I can remember doing. Walking out of the building, listening to him scream my name and knowing that he was in someone else’s care- took my breath away. I mean literally, made it hard to breathe. I am his mom, he is my baby…and harder than leaving Paysen, is leaving Parklen. I love them just the same. Not one more than the other….its just so different with Parklen. I know that Paysen is going to be ok when I leave him at school. I know that he will be. But Parklen, it scares me. You never know what will happen with him, and I guess that’s how it will always be. I will always breathe harder when I walk away from him, I will always wonder who isn’t washing their hands before they touch him, think about him getting sick and him wondering why I am not there to comfort him. It is quite a triumph to have him there, at preschool. Quite. His doctors still don’t know what will happen with his scho