Amanda and the Hendersons

Around November 12th or so of 2008 God began to weave into my life a very important collection of words. There are many words on the list. All important. All thick with meaning... All lessons. But there is one word that seems to be repeated time and time again... through out the list it appears...more than once...many times. The word.... Perspective. I was given the gift of perspective. Not that I was asking for it or anything. It certainly wasn't mentioned in my daily prayers or over coffee with a friend... I wasn't looking for it. As the gift was handed to me, my arms gave way under its weight. It is heavy. Its outer shell isn't soft or smooth.. more like the thick and scaly skin of a snake...or maybe a porcupine..... But, whether I liked it or not, The gift was given to me. It took days to open its first layer... a crash landing into a pediatric hospital for the first time... weeks in a medically induced coma for my baby. Breathing machines

Bitterness takes over, when you feel that life's unfair. When your baby is sick, or your bills aren't paid, maybe the grey is taking over your hair. One thing after another... it always seems to be. Questions, rarely answers... Puzzles that are often missing a piece. Bitterness leaves a taste in your mouth, that can not be easily replaced.. it can make the best things taste sour, the good taste bad... and the perfect things go to waste... It is so easy for me to find myself here... wading through the murky and muddy waters... Where I stand, bitter and angry... and alone... It takes a desperate plea in the form of a prayer... A good shake all the way down to my core. A friend, a memory... and sometimes... maybe just a little more. It helps when I remember all the places I have been, The highs, the lows... and everything between. 8 years can seem like a lifetime.. and also as a fleeting moment. When you look forward to tomorrow... When y