Amanda and the Hendersons

We spend so much of our lives trying to find something... Small things.... Our keys, A missing shoe... The right turn, The remote control..... Bigger Things... Our purpose... Our spouse... Our faith... All of these are things I have searched for....some, many times... There are feelings that come with searching... Excitement, fear, frustration.... Sometimes desperation.... And when we find the thing....we often find relief....a sense of peace.. Its hard when we lose something...am I right?!?! We've all been there? As mothers, especially....Because we aren't only in charge of the things we've lost...but a whole family worth of things fall into our responsibility.... When you have multiple kids you have multiple chances to look for things... One kiddo can't find their shoe, its time to leave for school...there is running and screaming and searching and often tears..You juggle the search with trying to keep everyone else from losing something...

Do you remember being a kid and learning to swim? I was thinking recently about how hard this test was for me....Swimming did not come natural...at all. I remember being in my swim classes and watching as the kids around me were confident and ready....easy to teach and fast to learn... I watched as they laughed...and splashed....and swam ... All the while, I clinched my white knuckles around the side of the pool...afraid to loosen my grip.  When I would finally release my grasp, one finger at a time... I would struggle...in every way. It was terrifying. I can see my scrawny arms and legs kicking frantically and flailing about, the ebb and flow of the water coming and going toward my face.....the heavy feeling of impending doom...I just could not get it. I failed plenty of classes....and yet my mom continued to sign me up...hoping eventually I would get it. The knot that forms when you fear you will drown is unmistakable. It's a feeling all its own. To look at everyone...