Belong
Ive been replaying this past year in my mind. Like a reel of an old movie, the pictures quickly passing by. It's a mostly bad movie. Critics would give it at least one thumb down. Its certainly not going to win any awards... I have been trying to figure out what, or why...the year was so hard.... and its come down to this... Belonging. I thought I did....or was trying so hard to... but I don't. I do not belong... in a specific group, in a specific place.. here, or there... I just don't. This realization has left a bitter taste in my mouth and an ache deep in my gut. But its truth. If you dissect that word belong ... you can clearly see the word long... Belonging...longing. I want to...belong. I crave that inclusion... but reality is often different than our desires. On a girls trip this fall there was a discussion about the first time I left my kids for a weekend away.. it was almost 2 years ago, and they were losing their minds. They cr