Amanda and the Hendersons

Blame it on the "Baby Blues" messed up hormones.....or maybe just life..but I have been feeling down lately....down on myself.  Its an emotion that I am certain most parents feel one time or another and especially mothers.  The feeling of being inadequate.......its capable of robbing you of so much.  Your self confidence, your self worth.....your joy.  I wasn't too surprised when Parklen started to show a return of his symptoms....Ive grown used to it, it takes a lot to shock me when it comes to that little boy.  So when he woke up Tuesday morning with golf ball size lymph nodes through out his neck, head and even one on his face...I already knew deep down that I would be leaving town.  I started to fret right as I put the first thing into our suitcase.  I was flooded with feelings.....feelings that said, "I cannot handle this."  I cannot count the trips I have made over that past five years....its too too many.  I shou...

Earlier this month we celebrated the birth of Parklen.......(I am WAY behind on posts and photos) His birthday is always very emotional for me, as is the case with each child's birthday that we celebrate....but a little more so with Parklen than the rest.  I believe that the extreme cases of health and crisis that have followed this boy are what makes each May 5th something so emotional.  Every year I vividly recall his first hospital visit.....every year I perfectly vision each illness, surgery and procedure he has had.  Every time I voice the words, "Happy Birthday Parklen." the tears well up.  I have said it many times before......but it is important that I never forget.....there was a time when we were unsure of the duration this young mans life would have.  There were moments when we were nearly convinced that he would not be with us for long...... So, when Parklen turns five.....its a big deal.....in so many many ways.  This year was the first...

So so much has happened in the lives of the Henderson's as of late......so so much.  We have celebrated a birthday....are currently in Denver for treatments, and of course.....we welcomed a baby. Because I didn't have the blog back when we had the boys, I have been working on writing their birth stories to share......but, because this one is the most fresh in my mind, I am sharing it first. There have been many, many lessons learned in my life......some were hard, some.....not so much.  Of all the things that God has chosen to teach, there is one that I refuse to accept, so I end up being taught it time and time again.......  This lesson, is that I cannot plan everything.....that things are not in MY control. My entire pregnancy was different this time, from the word GO.  With the boys, I knew I was pregnant instantly, I had planned for them....they were not a surprise.  Not so this go 'round.  In fact, only six months before discovering the news......