Amanda and the Hendersons

It has taken me just a little longer to get these words out of my head and onto this blog...... I have felt some pressure.... to get it right. Because after all...... Parklen's birthday this year was anything but just  a birthday...... A year ago things were very different than they are today. Last year.....Parklen was so sick. He had always been sick.....but it was getting much worse. He had declined pretty significantly between his 4th and 5th birthday.....having ups and downs..... the years and years of struggle had intertwined with each other....it was impossible to compare the heartache from one moment to the next..... at times....it was hard to see the light. There are so many memories I have of Parklen in pain. When I close my eyes, at any given moment.......I can see him hurting. I can see my son unable to breathe...... I can see him with tubes everywhere..... I can remember what it was like to look in his eyes........ from age 6 months on....there wa...

Parklen is turning six tomorrow......in case you haven't heard. Its bigger than just a birthday for him.... bigger for me, bigger for our family..... It is cause for celebration.... a deeper type of celebrating..... more than a "happy birthday.".... for reasons that are far beyond any sense of understanding I could convey..... I promise a deep post tomorrow..... but tonight.... I would love to tell you about our day yesterday. Like his sisters birthday just a few weeks ago, we had to keep things low key. but.......it was far too painful a thought.....to just sit at home..... Parklen has been through so much.... far too much..... Parklen has been struggling to live to his birthday....every. single. year.......of his life. This last year has been even more difficult..... I had called one of the movie theaters here in town to try and convince them to allow Parklen and his family a private viewing of a movie.....to no avail. I mentioned to a friend t...

After a crazy couple of weeks of junk running through our home.....I am declaring that WE ARE DONE..... It seemed that something  was wrong with someone  every day.......colds, coughs, teeth....food poisoning......and so on..... I have been to the pediatrician with two separate children 3 times in the past two weeks..... Somehow..... (answered prayer) Parklen has remained strong in the midst..... While his mom felt crummy, his brother coughed away.... his dad was knocked down by salmon jerky (seriously do NOT eat salmon jerky ) his sister cried relentlessly with days worth he always has food on his face.....somewhere....always of fevers.... There he sat.... strong. There he sat... somewhat at a distance.... Watching. and praying.... for his  family. He sat strong.... and insisted that he would Take care of me. He would pray for his dad... He felt bad for his baby sister. He should make a present to cheer...

It has been 365 days.... not that long ago.... and yet it seems like many many years... We had been awaiting the arrival of our first daughter.... and on this day, she made her appearance. The past year has been the toughest in my life.... no exaggeration there. I had spent many nights in the children's hospital with Parklen during my pregnancy.... sleeping on the tiny bed they provide for parents.... every night thinking of the baby growing inside of me and how little I felt I had to give her. How could I possibly love another child? I felt as though I had nothing left to give..... Never could I have dreamed or imagined the impact that one tiny baby girl could have on my life... our family's lives..... She came into this world quickly and it took one look, one moment, one breath, one tiny cry.... and I  knew  I would never be the same. When you have children....more than one, you find that...