Amanda and the Hendersons

I heard the little boy at the top of the tube slide this morning...."get outta my way you stupid little fatty". Those are the words he said to My Parky. The crazy mother inside me wanted to climb up the slide to see which boy had said it and who knows what I would have done then. But there were too many kids and no one was fessing up to the mean words. I have such a fear of how kids will treat my baby. He will Always be a little chubby from the steroids. Heart breaking.....the power of words on a mothers heart. Parklen didn't miss a beat at the statement but my eyes filled with tears instantly. Kids can be mean, really mean and I just don't understand. I hope to teach my boys that words can really hurt someone. Hope that they are kind and loving.

 We are wrapping up here in Denver today, and we are all ready to head home......Three days can feel like three weeks down here!!  This dose of treatment has been extra hard on all parties involved!  Parky is feeling the sting of the steroids extra strong this go 'round and the extra side effects have spilled over on his family.  He is more violent than I have seen him. Such a difficult thing to deal with, you cant punish him like you would a regular kid, he cant control his actions....they teach you certain things on how to "deal" with "roid rage" but its hard none the less..........I feel bad for him, I am sad that he is kicking me in the face, and at the same time sad because I know he doesn't feel good.   But the thing that really gets me is when he goes crazy on his brother.....have you seen the video clips of chimps attacking people? This is exactly what it looks like, and it happens so fast that you cant prevent it.  Paysen looks at me...

Sometimes it takes a bucket to catch your fish!!! You know, Life isn't easy....Its really anything BUT.  Stress is natural, it is inevitable.....you cannot escape it.  I used to live my life in fear, allowing stress to suck me in, worrying about each step....rarely stopping to learn from my circumstances.  Now, I HAVE learned.  I worry still, (although I try to avoid it.)  But never as much as before.  I am comfortable in my own skin, I feel good about the person I am, I feel strong, feel content.  God gives me these gifts.  I know that with HIM, I have nothing to worry about, I am in good hands.....I can get through anything, not by my strength but by HIS.  Learning to deal with what your given in life is the only way to live.  I am learning that my idea of perfect doesn't always fit into the way that things are going to go.  That my picturesque dream as a child of my future family was far from reality.....