Saturday, February 18, 2012
Last week I dropped him off at preschool as I was leaving for Denver. As I said goodbye to Paysen, I looked in his teary eyes and my heart sank. I sat in the parking lot sobbing.....
It is so unfair.....I say goodbye to him far too often.
Paysen is very angry, he is very sad. He is showing me these feelings in outbursts....he just doesn't have the words to express his heart.
It really is such a strange situation, its not the norm. I have always had this guilt....trying to be a good mom to two boys is a tough enough job.....trying to be a good mom to a sick baby is hard....trying to be a good mom to his healthy big brother at the same time is really hard.
I have been doing some extra things with Paysen....We had a pottery painting date last week, I have taken him with me everywhere when Dad has been home to keep Parklen....and yes, I admit....I have been sneaking the little dude into bed with us the last couple nights. I am not ashamed......
I just want him to know, whatever way it takes....that he means the world to me.