Friday, August 10, 2012

This is my story,..,

This week has been an emotional and crazy ride.  I am not alone in Denver...Devan and Paysen are along for this trip............having someone to share the drive with is a wonderful gift....it will be especially wonderful when I leave the hospital this afternoon, after arriving at 5:20 am for Parklen's surgery and spending last night waking up every hour in a panic in fear that I had overslept.  This girl is going to be napping it in the car.....(this is a risky move around Devan...he is known to snap pictures of his dear wife snoozing along with open mouth, drool and all....)

Parklen is back in surgery right now.....they are repairing his teeth that have been rotted away from his disease and his constant meds.....after that they will look at his lungs and see how they are looking after three months of treatment. 

I am trying to hold myself together....but its been tough this week.  We took Paysen school shopping and the very thought of having a week and a half left with him full time forms knots in my stomach... Pair that with the stress of treatments, surgery and planning a trip to Maryland and I am just a ball of CRAZY.

Parklen woke up in a great mood....ready for his surgery and heading back with a smile.  He is so brave.......Ive been trying to imagine all of the wonderful things his life will hold.....I'm certain there are big things in store......he is so brave.

After I walked Parklen back to surgery and watched him drift off into sleep.....I ran to the cafeteria to scarf what could be the only food I get for a while.....I then found myself in the restroom, staring at myself in the mirror......I could feel the tears welling up and I began to see them glisten in the harsh fluorescent lights......at that very moment I heard a song in my head.....its one that I have known my entire life.....One first heard in my baptist church growing up...and I am hearing it today.  The words speak to me, and although it is an old hymn its meaning rings true.....These are the verses that stopped my tears......

      "Angels, descending, bring from above
           Echoes of mercy, whispers of love. 
         This is my story, this is my song
             Praising my Savior all the day long;
              Perfect submission, all is at rest,
               I in my Savior am happy and blest,
                  Watching and waiting, looking above,
                Filled with His goodness, lost in His love."


I will be the first to admit....I have a crazy story.  Honestly, I cannot believe some of the things that have happened in my life.  But............If feels amazing to know how my story ends.....I already know the score to my life game,  I win.  I know that no matter what each day holds, I will be spending eternity with my loving Savior.  I know that God is using my today to his glory....I know that my son.....who has endured so much pain and trouble for his age....is an amazing testament to my faith and God's goodness......... 

I am thankful for my story....I am thankful for the moments that prove God's love for me.  The moments when devastation is taking over my heart and mind.....and with a simple prayer, I have peace.....Peace that surpasses ALL understanding....  I don't understand any of this stuff......but thankfully I don't have to............I just have to trust, and I do.

Thank you for praying for our family...........every single one is needed, heard and appreciated. 



1 comment:

  1. You are a wonderful mom, Amanda! Grace is tough to come by- thank you for the update! We think of you guys often and its very kind of you to take us with you, via the blog, even when it's tough. Very, very tough! Sending happy, healthy thoughts to P and P...
    Sarah c

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