the toughest thing......

There comes a point in every one's life, where they are forced to make a difficult decision.  These moments come often for parents........
Most parents must decide things like, which schools to enroll in, which pediatrician to use, what diet to feed, which sports to participate in, who to use as a baby sitter.....and so on it goes.

When I decided it was time to become a mother I thought of many things, happy things like first steps, laughs, playing, love.  I never thought of things as they have turned out.

Parklen has been sick for his entire life.  It has been trying, it has been hard.  Its time for his life to change.  Parklen will heal from this recent ordeal over the next couple of months....after he is at HIS best- him, his sister and I will be moving to Denver.  Parklen will be receiving a bone marrow transplant.

There are no more options. 

A doctor looked me square in the eyes and said, "Parklen will not live to be a teenager if he does not have this transplant. and if he has another episode like this one his body will be too damaged to ever do a transplant."

The hard part is this, Parklen is like no other kid.  Literally, his disease is different than any other ever recorded.  Its so different that they are unsure if it is actually ALPS anymore....or something new, that no one knows about. 

Being different is a good thing right?  But being different in this way is very scary.  It means no research to go off of, no statistics to cling to.....  It means that we have no idea how things will go.

When a doctor looks at you and says, "I am asking you to risk your child's life for a chance at saving it."  you know things are serious. 

That's all I know, things are serious. 

I never thought, in all of my dreams of motherhood, that I would be making a decision like this. 

God has given Devan and I a peace about the decision....We know that trying to help him is the better choice.....we know that we cannot just sit back and watch as he gets worse.  He has no quality of life.  He just doesn't. 

So we choose this path.  The one of uncertainty.....the one with the mystery ending.  We choose to do everything that we possibly can.  We choose to move forward and put the fate of our son, our precious Parklen, in God's hands. 

Please pray for our family,  For the difficulties that are ahead,  For the next year of our life that is destined to rewrite our story.......for the toughest journy we will ever embark upon....pray for Parky.