Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Aware....




It was the moment when I finally drifted off to sleep....I felt myself fall...
It had been a long day, and I was tired.
At first I thought it was a dream....but the tiny voice calling out to me, continued....
"mommy...."

I shook myself awake and pulled my heavy body out of bed.
Up the stairs,
into the room,
dimly lit...
I leaned over to pick her up.

The little girl with tear stained cheeks wrapped her arms tightly around my neck,
she nuzzled in and quickly her breath matched up with mine...
I stood there for a few moments, swaying back and forth and breathing in her smell.
"What's wrong baby?"
"I wuv you mommy..."
and I continued to sway.
My eyes heavy,
and my body yearning for my bed.

I began to feel myself wishing I was asleep....
before the thought took over my brain, I shoved it down.....

I remembered the moments of rocking the boys when they were so small....and thought about how I can barely lift them now.
How quickly the time passes...too quickly.

She was not feeling good.
Swollen cheeks from intruding molars.

We spent a lot of time together....
the two of us,
in the middle of the night.

Hugs and giggles,
midnight snacks,
drinks of water and kisses...
and trying to teach my daughter how to whisper....

When I placed her back in bed,
my heart felt a little more full....

I tucked the blanket in and leaned down to kiss her forehead...
she smiled up at me with a look in her eyes that cannot be described...

It is so easy to let these moment slip away....
to allow ourselves to get caught up in the craziness of life....
caught up in the exhaustion...
the busy...

I am so thankful for the times when I am able to make myself aware....
the moments that I've lost, are countless....

Being aware...
being present....
being awake...

there are no greater gifts...
for our children......
and for ourselves....

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