Amanda and the Hendersons

Days are going by too quickly, they refuse to stop...I wish I could slow time.... Its hard for me to grasp the fact, that today you're turning 9. It seems like only yesterday that I first held you in my arms.... My beautiful baby boy, tiny and so perfect....I never could have dreamed, all the things you've come to be....You're greater than my thoughts could manage. A brother, a friend, a son, a hero. Paysen you are full of love and kindness, bursting with wit, frosted with spunk....and topped with a few sprinkles of mischief... You are the answer to many prayers Ive prayed.... Nine years old. Hard to believe. You make me proud to be your mom...and happy to witness your life. I love you Paysen! Happy Birthday to You!

I can remember dropping Paysen off at kindergarten like it was yesterday. My heart cried a little.... and butterflies fluttered about in my belly. I felt sad and happy all at once.... scared and hopeful wrapped together. and when I walked away from him that day, I cried. But my tears slowed quickly.... because I knew. I knew that, although I would miss him dearly, although he was growing far too quickly, and although I would love to keep him small forever.... He would be ok. I knew that Paysen would be ok. I knew that he would make friends and learn, I knew that there was nothing in that school that would destroy him... He would be ok. Every year I drop him at school.... and every year I shed some tears.... I cry because I know that the moment is fleeting... that before long he will be grown, I cry because I like him as well as love him....and I miss him during the day. But when I drive away from dropping him off..... I wipe my tears, because I kn...

This week has been tough.... In different ways. This day has been rough on my heart. Last night was back to school night.... I don't like back to school night.... I get emotional and all crazy about sending Paysen...my healthy kid to school...every.single.year. Watching Parklen walk down the hallways, through the crowds of children, and into his classroom.... was a tornado of emotions. It was so hard. It really was. I can imagine tomorrow, on his first day of going to school....it may be a bit harder. My heart sings at the joy he feels.... and it swells with his excitement..... but it is guarded, afraid, fearful... I am trying to get a handle on that fear. Overcome it. and let Paklen's joy win. I sit here tonight and remember... years worth of memories. Years worth of pain, years worth of struggle, years worth of fighting,.... and years worth of being there, by his side.....watching out for him. I cannot keep the tears from forming. I ca...