Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Here we go.

This week has been tough....
In different ways.

This day has been rough on my heart.

Last night was back to school night....

I don't like back to school night....

I get emotional and all crazy about sending Paysen...my healthy kid to school...every.single.year.

Watching Parklen walk down the hallways,
through the crowds of children,
and into his classroom....
was a tornado of emotions.

It was so hard.
It really was.

I can imagine tomorrow, on his first day of going to school....it may be a bit harder.

My heart sings at the joy he feels....
and it swells with his excitement.....
but it is guarded,
afraid,
fearful...

I am trying to get a handle on that fear.
Overcome it.
and let Paklen's joy win.

I sit here tonight and remember...
years worth of memories.
Years worth of pain,
years worth of struggle,
years worth of fighting,....
and years worth of being there, by his side.....watching out for him.

I cannot keep the tears from forming.
I cannot push down the lump in my throat...

While tucking Parklen in to bed tonight he whispered, "I am going to miss you, mom."
I worked hard to keep it together.....
"Man, I am gonna miss you too buddy....so much."

So, here we go....
sending Parklen out into the world, a little bit more.....
my glass egg.
A piece of my heart.....a piece I would rather keep close.
Thankful that his brother will be there....
and that the school is a short drive from my house....
even shorter drive from the parking lot....where I could possibly stay....


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