Amanda and the Hendersons

It has been 365 days.... not that long ago.... and yet it seems like many many years... We had been awaiting the arrival of our first daughter.... and on this day, she made her appearance. The past year has been the toughest in my life.... no exaggeration there. I had spent many nights in the children's hospital with Parklen during my pregnancy.... sleeping on the tiny bed they provide for parents.... every night thinking of the baby growing inside of me and how little I felt I had to give her. How could I possibly love another child? I felt as though I had nothing left to give..... Never could I have dreamed or imagined the impact that one tiny baby girl could have on my life... our family's lives..... She came into this world quickly and it took one look, one moment, one breath, one tiny cry.... and I  knew  I would never be the same. When you have children....more than one, you find that...

There I sat, in the empty living room..... no one around besides the baby in my arms..... Her shallow breaths pushing against my chest..... I studied her features.... the glow of the midnight moon casting the only light in the room.... I ran my fingers over her tiny nose... through her ever growing hair, and rested them for just a moment on her cheeks.... Her eyes shut softly, her tiny hand reached up and her fingers met my face....she kept them there..... In that moment, that very moment..... I knew there was no where else I would rather be.. The circumstances could have been better...... I wished that my baby wasn't up with a fever.... I wished that her cheeks weren't kissed with redness.... that her sleep wouldn't have been disturbed, that she wasn't completing the circle of sick kids in our home this week. But, in spite of all the things that could have been different... there I was. In the silence of the night.....

uhhh can you say ham?  Had a scare last night..... Its always at least a little bit scary when you have a sick child...... A fearful feeling I have faced many times.... Paysen came down with a little bug over the weekend.....nothing big, but........for Parklens safety he had to go in and see the doc yesterday to rule out anything potentially dangerous that could be passed along.....its never a simple cold....  when a post BMT patient takes up residence in your home..... Turned out to be something viral.....no biggie for the Payse man.....but concerning for the Man of Steel.....He was cleared to return to school and that was the best news for him....turns out, Paysen is not into staying home.....we left the doctors office yesterday afternoon with simple instructions.... keep the boys apart.... .easy enough right?!?!?!?   Fast forward to last night......the boys are sleeping and Devan and I are finishing up some late night tasks.....up comes Parklen......"mo...

Yesterday was our monthly Denver appointments..... It was a long day, consisting mostly of waiting.... The doctor had plenty to say about progress..... but more to say about what we need to remember... Parklen looks great..... He feels great..... He is gaining weight, He is gaining life ..... but he is not out of the woods yet.... The doctor took great care to stress the very importance of "staying the course." (as if I needed a reminder......) but it was good to hear........... It would be so easy to begin letting my guard down..... incredibly simple to just start living a normal life. After all, Parklen looks like he is better.... he even acts like this is so.... Behind the curtains is a different story.... Look deeper, past the smiles and the laughter... slightly further than the playing and the living..... there you will see a body full of cells....cells that are still working toward complete health. Now is when things are hard.... it...

Life is full of surprises when you live most every moment with in your home...... With a knowledge that most everywhere is off limits and a simple trip to the grocery store  is impossible with out the help of a trustworthy someone to keep the kids.....you learn to keep yourself busy with all sorts of stuff...... Parklen and I have been up to some things lately...... I thought I would share a portion of whats been keeping us busy....... Not long ago I was unable to get Parklen to participate in anything aside from watching a movie or playing a video game......he had zero desire to craft.....zip motivation to try new things and hardly enough strength to pull himself off of the couch...... Things these days are a little different.......actually, a lot  different. I have always been a crafty......something that was passed down to me by my mother, who's artistic abilities are overwhelming!  There is little about art that I do not enjoy......I love creative ex...