The still of the night....

-
There I sat,
in the empty living room.....
no one around besides the baby in my arms.....

Her shallow breaths pushing against my chest.....
I studied her features....
the glow of the midnight moon casting the only light in the room....
I ran my fingers over her tiny nose...
through her ever growing hair,
and rested them for just a moment on her cheeks....

Her eyes shut softly,
her tiny hand reached up and her fingers met my face....she kept them there.....
In that moment,
that very moment.....
I knew there was no where else I would rather be..

The circumstances could have been better......
I wished that my baby wasn't up with a fever....
I wished that her cheeks weren't kissed with redness....
that her sleep wouldn't have been disturbed,
that she wasn't completing the circle of sick kids in our home this week.

But,
in spite of all the things that could have been different...
there I was.
In the silence of the night....
and thanking God that I was the one who got to hold this baby.....
I could not help but squeeze her a little tighter,
I gave in to my desires to repeatedly kiss her face....
and there...
in the quiet of night....
I held my tiny baby...
the one with a birthday quickly approaching...
I found myself thinking how lucky I was to be there....

No distractions...
No noise...
the simple sound of breathing and the warmth of motherhood my only company....

I have found that purposefully slowing yourself down is not easy...
that forcing the pause...
implementing the foresight....
To just. Soak. It. In.....
all of it.

In parenthood,
these moments can be hard to come by.
Silence is not easily found.
But,
with conscious  effort....
every moment can turn into bliss....

I could have easily chosen to spend this moment in fear.....
but I chose the opposite....

because these times are fleeting....
for before I know it, my baby will be grown....
in no time at all,
she will struggle to fit in my lap.

Before the time of Little's passes by....
before the days of complete dependence on me expires....
before these days are gone...
I am choosing to find a ray of light....

Finding a bit of Joy.....
even if it is faint.....
because after all.....
the messes,
the chaos,
the bickering.
the spills
and the crazy....
They. Are. Life.....
and what would there be if those things weren't there?

Phinlynn is feeling a little sour today....
a tiny bit less than herself...
and because in this house....
in the home of the Henderson's....
there is no such thing as a minor illness.....
we have to investigate every little thing....

Standby for the official verdict....

in the mean time.....
there has been a lot of debate going around about parenting....and the tough job that it is.....
I mean, we all know......its tough....
It takes complete dedication to do this job well.....
and it is not easy....
but a job?
Is it really?

Ive decided to look at my position as an opportunity....
privilege....
one to love,
to teach,
to guide....
to be somebody's everything.....even for a moment.
A privilege that is denied to and cut short for so many......

Can you find the joy in the chaos?
Can you find moments of happiness in the midst of the crazy?
the messes?
the spills and the bickering?
because after all....
they are life...
and....
they prove that you are alive.....




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