best morning......

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It had been weeks since Parklen had left the house......Weeks....He doesn't go anywhere....
Most days, his world ends at the walls of this home......


We dropped Paysen off at school on Monday....
and watched him run onto the playground.......
Parky waved out the window and made plenty of comments about all of the kids playing....

Phinlynn was talking in her sweetest voice, pointing at things and asking Parklen to look....."PARKY!  PARKY!"

I glanced at the clock, we had just enough time to make one stop before heading home to meet Parklen's teacher for his daily lessons.....

"Hey buddy, should we go grab a treat?"
"YES!!! YES please mom!!"
so I headed down town,,,,

I had about a million things on my mind...
things I needed to do...
things I had forgotten to do....
and the pounding force of pain that is ever present within my head....
but it all just disappeared as I heard excited squeals from the back seat.....

We drove through down town and Parklen was completely mesmerized by most everything he saw...
"Mommy, look at the Christmas lights, look at the trees....it is beautiful...everything is beautiful.."
He continued to verbalize his admiration of all things Christmas....
I squinted hard to shake my tunnel vision....made myself carefully notice what he was seeing....

I treated him to a steamer.....
and his face lit up as I handed it back and he said, "this is the best morning ever...you are the best mom ever..."

My eyes instantly filled up with tears....
How is it that with all that we have to be thankful for, I can let myself get so stressed?
How can I lose sight of that which is simple.....beautiful.

It just takes a moment to step back from the complaining....
to change your perspective....

As you reflect on your days of this past week.......please remember the little boy who calls me mom...the one who has limits on what he sees....but places no limits on his thankfulness....
the little boy who sees beauty in the weeds and wonderment in holiday decorations....
and let him be a reminder to stop........to admire.....to appreciate, and to love..........

Today I reflect upon one of the most beautiful mothers I have ever met....
A woman that shines brightly with character....
glimmers with hope......
and smiles with grace....

Most of the time I have spent knowing her has been done from afar....
We never spent much time together.....
but she was there for me to admire while I lived in Denver with Parklen last year.....

Today marks one year since she lost her beautiful little boy........
and I can honestly say that not one single day passes that she and her family are not in my thoughts....
a year spent without her baby....
Their story has changed my life.....forever....
a picture of their son is ever present in my mind....

Count your blessings....
check your gratitude.....
and remember live each day as though the weeds were flowers and each breath you take could be your last.

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