Monday, January 30, 2012

~~~~~another day~~~~~~

There are some days when I absolutely convince myself that I have made up Parklen's illness.  I think thoughts in my head like, "he probably isn't really sick, I must be imagining it,"  I think this is my way of trying to take responsibility for his problems.......  I sit and wonder these things, and then I look down to see Parklen, his face so under his eyes, fluid gushing from his ears, I see his protruded stomach, the lines in his teeth....I watch as he cries from pain, I know very well.......I am not making it up.  Never mind that the doctor's tell me so, just seeing him tells me more.

We are battling Prednisone in our home, Parklen is really struggling to control himself.  The side effects of this drug are so strong, even at the low dose that he only takes every other day.  Parklen cannot sleep...not hardly at all.  Falling asleep is all but impossible, staying asleep even harder.  His "roid rage" is intense.  He is lashing out at everyone for seemingly most everything.  His brother is covered in scratches...head to toe.  They cannot be left alone in a room for more than ten seconds without this happening........Paysen mostly just accepts it, doesn't tend to fight back much because he knows its from the medicine.   He is the best brother. 

Every day Paysen prays: "God, please heal my brothers body, help him to not be sick anymore."  He shows such sweet compassion for him, so sweet for his mama to see.

Today is just a day when I feel the heat.........
Thankful for a new start tomorrow!

 We spent some time away a week or so was relaxing, and very much needed.  We stayed at our friends house that sits right on a lake......Devan was in an ice fishing tournament, which if you ask me is a terrible idea. 

I spent the entire weekend just hanging friend, who is nine months pregnant was great company and not too too crazy.....  It was the first weekend in a long time when I didn't have to cook....relaxing for sure.

At one point I decided to venture out to my mans "hut" and see what the fuss was about.....I threw on my boots and trucked across the frozen water.  It didn't take but 5 minutes for me to "see" and decide that he can have ice fishing....I want no part.  Although it did seem very intensely exciting sitting in the chair and staring at the hole in the ice, all the while freezing my buns off.....not for me.

Our boys were wild and free there.  It was a good weekend.

I plan on traveling back there again very soon, of course to meet the new baby, but also to relax with our old friends.

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