Changed

The Honda was packed....
Suitcases stuffed into the back, stroller, even snacks...the only thing missing was the three children that would fill the seats......and the night ended.

The sun rose .....

We were set to leave shortly...
a weeks worth of appointments ahead....

My heart sank as I heard Parlklen coughing from the other room,
one look in his direction and I knew that our plans were about to change.

Healthy and happy when he fell asleep last night...

His eyes were telling.....
they told a story of illness...
and the eyes don't lie.

I called the nurse at Children's.....
she talked with the doctor...

and an hour later,
she called to tell me that everything was canceled.

Not something that can be done with the symptoms he has....(and Phinlynn has too)
and had we come, they would have sent us home....

There will be no appointments tomorrow,
or in the week to come.....

The donation of cells by Paysen is put on hold....
the receiving of the cells by Parklen......will have to wait.

And I feel crushed.

Crushed for Paysen who has been on edge about the whole process.....
the nerves,
the built up anticipation
the quiet fear....

Crushed for his brother.....
The need of Paysen's cells that Parklen has.....postponed.

The car that sits packed full.....
in the driveway.

The schedule we had planned to keep....

Its all been stopped in its tracks.

There is little that makes me uneasy the same way that the unknown does....
No idea of when they will be able to reschedule....

As the day progressed, Parky and Phin felt worse....
Their symptoms amplified....
Lots of cuddles and snuggles....
and tissues and hand washing....

and today.....and most days,
this is our life.

A thousand moments changed by a sniffle....
days altered by a cough.....