Amanda and the Hendersons

Today is day +94 94 days....seems like a life time...... This morning Parklen and I were snuggled up, I was holding his hand as he slept away..... As I ran my thumb back and forth, I couldn't help but notice his tiny little fingernails peering out over the tops of his fingers.... Something seemingly small made my heart skip a beat. Parklen has always, for as long as I can remember......had a habit of picking his fingernails, and fingers.... It was always his way to cope when he felt sad, scared or nervous..... sad thing was, he was always sad, scared or nervous. His fingers would often bleed.... Even when he was in the ICU, and he had a breathing tube in place.... when he couldn't move his body or speak a single word.... he picked his fingernails. As soon as they would take his fragile wrists out of the restraints that kept him from pulling out his breathing tube if he woke up in a panic....the moment those white velcro straps came off....he would lift up his ...

The past weekend was unforgettable. I mean it. I hope I will always remember it. I pray that the moments of this weekend stay with me forever..... I wish so badly that I could package the feelings of the last few days..... the gratitude, the appreciation, the happiness....... the simplicity. I would hand it out to everyone I know, even people in passing...... When they opened the package.... when they began to pull at the ribbon that held it together.... I would have to fight to contain my feelings of excitement.... When they peered inside... what would they see? Inside the package.... would be knowledge. Inside the package.... would be understanding. The world is so busy, our lives move so quickly. It can be so hard to see what we have. As I lay in bed Thursday evening... I felt the happiest that I can remember feeling in years. There I was, at home, in my bed, next to my husband... My daughter asleep in her own room, the boys hunkered down toge...

Today is day +85.  You know you have been cooped up for too long when your five year old boy asks you to help him make a "relaxation place" for his action figures...complete with tiny pillows and blankets..... because after all, even Batman needs to take it easy once in a while. Things are moving right along. Today we went to clinic for Parklen's routine checkup and blood draws. Last week I decided that I should plant a seed....a tiny murmur of an idea....... I have learned that if you sit back and wait for certain things to happen.....they may just not. I have learned that it never hurts to ask for something.....anything..... the worst that comes from asking is the answer no . The worst that comes from not  asking......never knowing. So, I thought it through and decided I would ask..... "What do you think about Parklen going home for a weekend?" I wasn't sure what answer I would hear..... but I was sure that I needed to ask. They d...

Today marks the 100th day from the original transplant day. The original "day +100" had we not had any hang ups.... It got me thinking this morning as I stared at that number on the calendar..... What would things have been like if it were..... Parklen is doing so amazing..... and I can remember the pure devastation of putting off the transplant.....twice. I can remember feeling as though things were not going right.... What if the doctors hadn't found the abnormal tests that made them wait? Would Parklen still be doing great? What if we would have pushed through.... and the problems came up when it was too late? What if Parklen were still in the hospital, or doing poorly because of missed information? It would be amazing if today were day +100..... but, its not. Instead, today is day +83. and thank God for that. 83 days towards our goal...... and 83 days of doing great...... and no matter how hard is sometimes is to have to wait..... God...

There is a piece of our puzzle.... a part of our story..... a character that is often overlooked. There is a man. A man who is mostly in the background..... Rarely front and center. A man who quietly works behind the scenes.... of course Devan wishes he was here for all the big things that happens..... should he have dropped out of school? should he be here every day? The thing about it is this..... Devan is where he should be. Its true......he isn't here. He isn't in the thick of the medical responsibilities..... Its hard to be here without him..... Its hard to often carry the load solo..... but he isn't here...... Instead, he is home. Home trying to give Paysen a little sliver of normalcy.... he is attending class.... he is studying, doing homework. He is spending time on something with little immediate satisfaction. Day in....... Day out....... Striving for something that will come later on down the road..... He isn't just wor...

Today is day +75. That does not even seem possible..... really. 75 days ago I walked Paysen into surgery.... 75 days ago I watched as a bag full of his healthy marrow was pumped into his brother. 75 days ago..... and Parklen has never looked back. There is nothing tragic to report in the way of Parklen, and that is a combination of amazing and awesome rolled together and sprinkled with tiny sparkles of unbelievable. He is doing well. He feels great. He looks great. He has energy. He has days FULL OF LIFE. He has found a new love for art....which he is convinced was transplanted with Paysen's marrow. He has found a new love for music and getting his groove on......also claimed to be from the marrow. Parklen is beginning to learn that healthy kids don't always get what they want......quite a process after an entire life of his way.......but completely necessary in preparation for entering the world as a healthy boy..... He understands what germs can do t...

Hi there! Sure have missed ya! I took some time from the blog..... from a lot of things really.... I pretty much checked out for a bit.... ignoring phone calls, texts...... taking a break from it all. It can become so exhausting.....just the simple things like explaining things over the phone..... So, I decided to step back from it all...... I just finished a self given secret mission...... last weekend I ventured home.... to Casper, and returned to Denver this afternoon. Paysen, Phinlynn, and me...... We loaded up the Honda and headed North. We had moved in to our new home just two weeks before the kids and I moved to Denver in September.  There were boxes still in need of unpacking.....tons of things to organize. As Parklen continues to do better and better..... as his health improves quickly..... we must prepare for the next step. The next step....... We don't know when they will give us the go ahead to head home.....with all of us......with P...