Wednesday, January 8, 2014

whats to come.......

Hi there!
Sure have missed ya!

I took some time from the blog.....
from a lot of things really....
I pretty much checked out for a bit....
ignoring phone calls, texts......
taking a break from it all.
It can become so exhausting.....just the simple things like explaining things over the phone.....
So, I decided to step back from it all......

I just finished a self given secret mission......

last weekend I ventured home....
to Casper, and returned to Denver this afternoon.

Paysen,
Phinlynn,
and me......

We loaded up the Honda and headed North.

We had moved in to our new home just two weeks before the kids and I moved to Denver in September.  There were boxes still in need of unpacking.....tons of things to organize.

As Parklen continues to do better and better.....
as his health improves quickly.....
we must prepare for the next step.


The next step.......

We don't know when they will give us the go ahead to head home.....with all of us......with Parklen.
We don't know for sure how quickly it could happen....
What we do know, is that the hundred day mark is fast approaching.
Any time after that is fair game.......

With Parklen feeling so well, I felt ok leaving him behind.....
It also helped that his dad had some extra time off to spend with him.

Five years,
five  years of Denver trips....
I have never once left Parklen in Denver.
I have never left him here.
and then, 5 days ago.... I did.....

It was so hard to drive away......
it didn't help that he was crying......
it was something totally new for him too.

I made the decision to keep the trip on the down low.
I told no more than just a handful of people.
I knew that there was so much to be done....
that time home was limited...
I didn't want company,
I didn't want the pressure of seeing everyone...........or anyone...really.

I managed to sneak home and back and running into only one person.......

There were two people that came over to help me organize.....
and that was it....

I have to tell you,
being home felt AMAZING....
the only thing that could have made it better would have been Devan and Parklen there too....

I wasn't worried as much as I thought I would be about Parklen......
Devan took care of things.
It was a good opportunity for him and Parklen as well.  Over the years their time together has been limited.  They haven't had a lot of time alone....because I have always been there.........hovering over my glass egg.....all. the. time.

It was a nice break from the med dispensing.....
from the care.

A nice break from the hospital appointments.....
A nice break from PICC line flushes....
and blood draws.

It was a nice break from the apartment.

It was amazing being home with Paysen....
dropping him off at school, picking him up.


It was a strange feeling driving back down today.
almost harder than any other time I have driven that road before.....
After months away it was hard to leave.....my home.
It was hard to drive away from the seven year old I dropped off at school this morning....
the one who stood on the sidewalk with his tear stained cheeks....waving his hand.....and asking me to stay.


There was a light at the end of the tunnel.....a little boy with bushy eyebrows and a huge smile, waiting for me.....

As Devan drove away, Parklen began to cry.......he told me he had the best time with his dad......

The last few days were good for us all....

going home made me so excited for what is to come.....

a time....soon, when we will ALL be home....together.
Until then, we push through.....stay the course.......and remember that the best is on its way!


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