Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Unforgettable.....

The past weekend was unforgettable.

I mean it.
I hope I will always remember it.
I pray that the moments of this weekend stay with me forever.....

I wish so badly that I could package the feelings of the last few days.....
the gratitude,
the appreciation,
the happiness.......
the simplicity.

I would hand it out to everyone I know,
even people in passing......

When they opened the package....
when they began to pull at the ribbon that held it together....
I would have to fight to contain my feelings of excitement....
When they peered inside...
what would they see?

Inside the package....
would be knowledge.
Inside the package....
would be understanding.

The world is so busy,
our lives move so quickly.
It can be so hard to see what we have.

As I lay in bed Thursday evening...
I felt the happiest that I can remember feeling in years.

There I was,
at home,
in my bed,
next to my husband...
My daughter asleep in her own room,
the boys hunkered down together.....

The weight of stress...and worry,
was lifted off of my chest.
Like a heavy fog on the sea, dissipating...
I felt like I could breathe.

I could not stop telling Devan,
"It feels so good to be home.....all of us"

After he fell asleep,
I stayed awake,
praying,
being thankful,
watching him sleep....
crying,
and simply feeling overwhelmed with blessings.

Do you know the blessings?
Do you realize how HUGE of a gift it is to be with your family?
Together?

Every day this weekend was amazing.
Every day was filled with average....
with normalcy...

And every day I was so thankful for that.

The package I would love to hand to the world....
to people I know,
to people I love,
strangers I meet...

That is what would be inside.

An understanding of just how amazing the normal is....
just how awesome the simple things are.....
A glimpse of a life where those things have never existed....
until now....
Parklen.

A look at a transformation from sick to healthy.....
and how that journey can make even the smallest moments completely amazing....

Parklen wasn't living his life and then all of a sudden got sick one day....
he was born that way.

The life he has now is something that he has never known.....
It is new....
It is fresh....

There was a moment this weekend when I literally thought I was going to burst with happiness...
we were all tucked snugly into Devan and I's bed....
The five of us....
There were tiny toes digging in here and there...
There was a handful of bony elbows and knees....
There was us....
Paysen snuggled in with his baby sister.....
Devan smiling in his sleep...
and as I looked at Parklen with his legs flung over his dads chest I just could not take it.....
It was too much.....
such a gift....
such a gift.

There was so much laughter this weekend...
Rough housing....



Parklen even got his first black eye...

Knowing how fragile life is, brings you to a point of appreciation and gratitude...
Realizing that any one breath could be your last.....
understanding that your children are not invincible....
and they may not be with you forever.....
it shakes you to your core.....
It speaks to your soul.

I wish so badly I could convey....
I wish so much that I could share this in a way that everyone could understand....
that I could hand you a package and you would see what I see....
I wish you could enjoy things in the same way as I have....
with out having to live the heartache first....


I never want to lose this sense of awareness....
However normal our life may become....
the last five years have dug their claws into my being....
they have left their mark.

I will never forget how it feels to have a sick child.
I will never forget how it feels to be separated from our family....
I will never forget how incredibly wonderful a weekend at home truly is.....
ever.

It was hard to leave home this morning....
but the drive to Denver was a little easier knowing that awaiting us was a building filled with people who care deeply for our family.....
and the thoughts of the weekends to come,
those sailed through my mind as I drove along....

How amazing was your weekend?
no really....
Looking back,
how blessed are you?
How many tiny memories were formed?
How much do you have to be thankful for?
Don't wait until you know the pain that causes the simple to be so precious....
Enjoy your small, wonderful moments....
Got to work on a ton of projects around the house.....LOVE!











2 comments:

  1. PRAISE THE LORD! So happy that you were able to go home for a few days! God is SO GOOD ALL THE TIME! Ups and downs, sometimes more downs than WE want, but always in His time, in His way.... I'm so thankful that you share your thankfulness in the way that you do, Amanda, to make people like me realize that every moment is a gift from God. Although I know that in my head, how often I take that for granted. I need to stop and appreciate every single, little solitary moment that He has given me, and fill them full so that I have absolutely no regrets, no remorse, no "I wish..." in my heart or head at ANY moment in my life. My life now has moments with a new little grand daughter, full of life, blue eyes and smiles! She and her mom (my daughter) will be moving this weekend to Gillette. I'm trying my best to pack each moment full, for I already know that I will miss both of them terribly, but the little one most of all!

    God has give you things that most people never know about, Amanda, and will never experience in their lifetime. Thank you for opening up your heart, your love, and sharing it with us. May God continue to bless you all.

    Love from L in Douglas

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  2. Amanda,

    Thank you for finding just the perfect words to so beautifully share Parklen's story with us, as well as that of your amazing family. I am so glad your weekend went so well.....I was thinking of you all the whole time and sending along all the prayers at my command. Just keep hanging in there.....100 days is right around the corner.....and Parky is gonna continue to do amazing! I just know it.

    David

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