of courage.......

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This is my sister......
This week, she is my life saver.
She is tagging along on this Denver trip....
and by tagging along, I mean playing with, watching over and keeping my Paysen busy.
She is rocking my socks.....


There is a program at Children's Hospital called "Beads of Courage"  It is a special program for children with cancer or blood disorders.......You receive a bead for each and every thing you have done for your treatment.  A collection of your courage to look at and admire.
For whatever reason, Parklen had never received any beads.....I'm thinking because it took so long to get a diagnosis.....and by the time we had that, the beads were just forgotten.
Today, they gave Parklen his beads.


It took three necklaces to hold the beads, and it took me over an hour to string them.  These are Parklen's beads....... Every single one stands for a procedure or hardship that Parklen has endured over the course of the past 3 and a half years.....Let me say that again, EVERY single one of these beads represents something that Parklen went through.  I haven't counted the beads......because, well....I don't want to.  The nurse confessed, that there were probably a lot forgotten.


 Parklen had fun today...making friends with a volunteer that played with him for hours.  He never seemed to notice my sadness....as I strung each and every bead, reflecting upon the last few years....
 This is Parklen's main doctor.....here, he is singing "happy birthday" to my little man, while he licks frosting from the wheels of his new tractor.  His team threw him a little party since they missed his birthday last month...
After treatments, we took a walk.  I needed some fresh air.  I haven't gotten the answers I am looking for.  There are none to be found.....  Parklen's  Denver team is speaking with doctors from the research clinic, California and Chicago. There were tears shed today as we spoke.....and they were not all mine.  I was given a promise....."I will not give up."  and, for now.....that has to be enough. 

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