Our marriage.....

I was young......
20 years old......
10 years ago this week..........
Working in my hometown and living on my own......
Thought I had all I needed......
That's when I met the man of my dreams....

Tall,
dark
and handsome......

Quiet,
funny
and smart.......

Strong,
adventurous
and just a little bit crazy......

Life moved pretty quickly from that moment on......
We were rarely apart.....

Three months after the day we met he asked me to be his wife.....
I didn't see it coming....
He surprised me with his every word.....
as he asked me to spend forever with him.....

I was so young....
with big dreams.

I imagine I was thinking merely of happiness and bliss.....
I said yes........
We were getting married.....

I had a hard time believing that someone like him wanted to be my husband...
but he did.
He had swept me off of my feet.....

The wedding planning commenced and within  9 months...... we got hitched....

It took just a couple of years before hardship started to head our way.....
but since then, it seems to never have stopped.

I would love to tell you that our marriage has been happy and free....
that we never fight and we never make mistakes......
but that just isn't the case.

We have spent our time together fighting......
fighting with each other,
fighting with circumstances.....
 for our marriage.....
not easy, but always worth it.

We have had attacks year after year, month after month.....
sometimes seemingly, moment after moment....
and we have stuck together.....

We have survived........
bad decisions,
terrible choices,
job loss,
friend loss,
loss,
a sick child,
financial distress,
mean words,
anger,
infidelity,
and difficulty.....

We have lived.......
happiness,
joy,
faith,
births....
triumphs,
fun,

I have spent time wondering if that 20 year old girl from so long ago really knew what she was doing when she said yes.....What she would think if she could have seen where her decision would take her....

I know that Devan has spent time wondering if asking that young girl to share his life with him was worth it.....

No matter which way I turn,
whichever direction I flip it.....
my answer is always yes.....
I may have been naive......
might not have had a clue what a marriage required.....
but some how,
in some way........
I chose the right way to go......

The faith that was woven into my being as a child was there.....
and has been since.....
the knowledge that nothing worth having ever comes for free.....
that hard work pays off.....
and that saying forever should mean forever.
no matter what.

The vision of growing old with the same person who got down on one knee....
the man who held my hand into motherhood.....
the guy who has been next to me as I have grown from a girl to a woman......
that's worth fighting for.

There is something to be said about enduring hard times....
holding tight as your ship blasts through the storms.....
the calm waters are much more peaceful when you know what the waves feel like....

Where would we be if our road had been smooth?
I have no idea.....

But I know that there is nothing that can tear us apart.
because.....
we have already lived through some of the worst....
and not just lived through.....
we came out of the other side.....
still holding hands.

I have learned so much through our marriage....
about us,
about faith,
about life...
about myself....

I have learned that God really can bring you through any storm.....
I have learned that love is an action, and a choice.....that you have to make every day.....
that companionship is deeper than mere feelings.....

I cannot say what our anniversary feels like for Devan....
but I can say that for me, it feels like a step towards forever.....

Some years I look back at the climb we've had and cannot believe we are still in one piece......
other years I look back and feel like the climb has gone by far too quickly......

Some times I look back to that young girl......
I see her smile at her future husband.....
I can still feel her butterflies,
and her heart flutter with a touch of her cheek.....
and I thank God every day that that girl said yes......
because the life she would have missed could never compare to whatever else is out there....

I thank God for the husband I have.....
for the time we have lived..........together.

I thank Him for the lessons we have learned,
for the triumphs we have seen.

I cannot help but be thankful for the people and things that have tried to knock us down......
because.........here we stand......
and we are strong.

Happy anniversary to my one and only.....
9 years as husband and wife.....
ten years as best friends.....
and as long as there is breath in my lungs.....many years to come......

Thank you for loving me,
thank you for making me laugh......
and for wiping my tears....
Thank you for our amazing children.....
Thank you for seeing me through the tough times....
for seeing my beauty when the ugly was much more vivid.
Thank you for challenging me to be my best, even when I would have settled for less.....
Thank you for trusting God.
Thank you for sharing your life with me.....

Love you.