Sunday, January 9, 2011

Have you simply ever wondered?

Wondered what tomorrow brings?
Wondered how you got to today?
Wondered how, in spite of the stupid mistakes you have made, you are blessed beyond belief?
Wondered, about the small moments you have missed by worrying?

I am finding myself pondering the questions of life.  Little things are happening around me, all the time.  My children are growing, they are learning and they are laughing. My marriage is growing as well, I am married to my best friend, I am free to be who I am and loved anyway.   

When Parklen was at his worst, that is what defined our family.  When we looked down at our baby, in the ICU and didnt know if he would make it through, we were the parents of a sick baby, and Paysen the brother of one.  We related everything in our lives to Parklen's illness. Its a consuming disease that affects our everyday. . .but its not who we are.

When Devan began a new life journy at age 34 we let it define us.  What a brave and crazy thing to do, starting over in your 30's.  Being a full time student while supporting your family.  Staying up late to do homework after you have eaten with, wrestled and read to your boys. Barely making it home for dinner because you are working extra hour to make up for the time you are in class. . .its brave.  Its a consuming process that affects our everyday.. . . but its not who we are.

In two and a half simple years, our family has been through it.  We have experienced a birth, illness, countless surgeries, job loss, friend loss, relocation, college, preschool, birthdays and the list goes on. The fact is, none of these things define us.  There is one thing that has remained constant through each day. . .and its faith.  This is what defines us. . .our faith, faith in God, faith that no matter where our life turns God has a plan, faith that carries thoughout each moment reassuring us that God is bigger than any problem, illness or road block.  

It has been said that God is good all the time, I am here to say. . .its true.  As my life is passing by I know that God has control, I have learned that no matter how much I worry, I can't control everything. In reality I have very little control at all, my actions and the way I treat people. . .thats my business, the rest is up to him.  

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