Falling away.....

Yesterday Parklen was sitting on my lap.
I was running my fingers over his hair, like I normally do....
I looked down and noticed that in the palm of my hand sat a bunch of tiny blond hairs.
Each stroke of my fingers rendered more hair....

You see moments such as this in movies.............hair falling out with each touch of the person's head
and sadness usually follows the realization of the losing of your locks....

This is Parky's fighing face

As I peered down at my shirt where Parklen had rested his head,
I noticed that it was covered.....there was so much hair...
I looked back to my hand.....

I didn't feel sad.

As I studied each hair, my heart felt......glad.
I started to think of it metaphorically....

Each hair coming out of my precious boys head felt like one step closer to a new start....
as if each one of those tiny blond hairs was one moment of heartache.
Each pile of hair was worth a day of pain......
and all of those days and those moments were just falling away....

I asked Parklen if he wanted to let it continue to fall....
He said he wanted to shave his hair really short.....
that's just what we did.....It felt so good.
We shaved away those tiny hairs....got rid of the heartache.

Today is day +12.
We are past the normal honeymoon phase.
and, against all odds......
Parklen feels wonderful.

He spiked a fever the other day and had a positive blood culture......
The bacteria that grew was common, easy to treat and did not cause worry.
A tiny hiccup in what has been an otherwise smooth road.

There is no telling how soon Parklen could get released from the hospital.....
his counts are still down but we pray that soon they will begin to rise.
People are amazed by his demeanor............
Devan and I are so hopeful.
We do a lot of laughing in the room,
I do a lot of thinking about the future.....

Parklen has spent a little more time unplugged from his gadgets.....
and more time interacting with us physically.

His energy is high.
Yes, of course there are low moments in his day.....but those moments are better than his best moments were  just weeks ago.

He is wild.
He is all boy,
and we are so blessed.


It was hard for the boys this weekend.
They were unable to see each other........
It was a juggling act for all of us....but we made it happen.
Counting down the days until we can all be together again.....
under one roof....
Paysen is going to thoroughly enjoy an energetic playmate....
something that he has not had in his brother.....