Friday, November 15, 2013

Something about........

Today is day +17.
A good day for Parklen.
He has felt great, tired....but great.
His mood shifts as the clouds move across the sky.....
  Highs and lows.....
but mostly high.......

His counts are close to yesterday....
they are beginning to go where they need to be.
He isn't throwing up.

He smiles through the day...........
gives a lot of hugs and snuggles.

There are still some infection issues with his blood tests......
this could result in a minor surgery to remove his central lines.....which would need replacing when the infection is gone...
We are praying that over the next couple of days, the antibiotics take care of things and no surgery is needed.......they estimate about a 50/50 chance......but God doesn't care about statistics.

There is something about being in a children's hospital.
There is something about being in the bone marrow transplant unit.
It is a hard place to be.

Hard because you wouldn't be there is your child wasn't sick.
Hard because all of the children around you are also sick.
Hard because you often run into parents in the halls and can see pain in their eyes.
Hard because these people are living right next to you and although you may not know them you have a connection.........
There is a vision of their face burned forever into my mind....each mother, father, grandparent, family member I have ever seen here.

You can always tell when things are going bad.
You can feel it in the air.
You can see it by the flood of additional family members that begin to arrive.

Each time I see a common area filled with a child's family, my heart sinks.

It is not a fair world we live in.
It is not a fair thing to have sick children........
It is hard.

It is hard when you see these people,
when you know the smile of their child.....
When that child has come many times to wave at yours through the glass of his door....

There are no words for the guilt you feel in these situations.
The guilt of having a child that is doing well......while the parent down the hall has just the opposite.
You want so badly to reach out.......
but there are no words that can make things better.
and there is no way to ever imagine the pain that they feel.....
There is only prayer.

It is a sad place to be today.....and this week.
Not because of anything that has happened to us, but because of people that have been put in our path, people we don't know........but people nonetheless.
Parents......like us.
and as much as I try, I cannot help but feel sad.......so very sad.

Today I am thankful for prayer.......
thankful that it is something I can give to others.....
Thankful for the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Squeeze your babies......hold them tight.
Smile at them.
Be thankful for messes they make
and fits they throw.
Be glad you just caught them braking the rules.....
find comfort in the small things of your day....
the crying,
the boogers,
the cooking,
the cleaning,
the taxi driving......
the chaos..
the sibling fighting.....
because trust me,
there are parents that would give anything to be doing those things today....


The boys aren't coming down this weekend.....not exciting news but.....
there is too much that needs to be done at home.
We will miss them down here for sure, but here's to looking forward to next weekend!




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