Saturday, November 16, 2013

this decade.....




Today is exactly one week until my thirtieth birthday!

I have dreaded this birthday for years.......
since I turned 25 to be exact.
It has always seemed so "old"

I can think back to being a teenager and thinking that people who were 30 were ancient.
Pffft.
Isn't it funny how perspective can change so much over the years you live.

It wasn't until about a week ago when I really started to feel ok about turning 30.
It happened when I was talking with a nurse.
She, the same age as me, was the 3rd person in one week to say, "you are ONLY going to be 30?"

At first glance this statement is pretty awful.
It wasn't until I further spoke to these ladies that I began to understand what they meant.
Each one was my age, close or older.
Each one is not yet married and has no kids.

In the world we live in success is often measured by different things.....
your occupation,
your money,
your home.....
the clothes you wear.

Hearing other women say to me, "look at all you have accomplished.....you are married, you have three kids......."

They are right.
There are things that I want to do in my life still.......
but if I am honest..........
if I look back at growing up,
being a young girl.....
If I think about what that little girl wanted to grow up to be.......
I am her.

I wanted a husband,
the love of my life.....
a fairy tale.
I wanted a man that thought the world of me.....
I wanted a Mr. by my side that appreciated my humor,
my brain,
my gifts,
and loved me through my down falls......

I wanted a love story.
A strong knight in shining armor......

I wanted a life partner.....
A marriage that could withstand anything.....
weather the storms......

I have that.

I wanted to grow up to be a mother.
I wanted a full house......
Children running,
laughing,
arguing....
playing....

Tiny feet,
smiles,
hugs ,
kisses

I wanted to teach my children things.....
I wanted to know what parenthood felt like.
I wanted to give birth....
I wanted to nurse my babies....

I wanted to prepare meals and make messes.......

I wanted a home.....
a table to eat around with my family....
a space to enjoy one another.

I wanted so much....

I have all of this.....
this and so much more.

I have accomplished all of the important dreams that that young girl had.
I may not hold a degree from a university.
I may not have an important position at an office.
I may not have a published book........
I may not make tons of money........

I am rich however.....
rich in family,
love,
and faith.




I am proud of the woman I am becoming.....
I am secure in who I am.
I am thankful for what God has done in my life.......

How many people can say that they are who their child version wanted to be when they grew up?

I can,
and I am..........

Heres to a new decade.....
Heres to the last week of my twenties!!!
Bring it on 30!


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